10 Tips From a New (Military) Wife

10 Tips From a New (Military) Wife

When Bethany and Carol invited me to write a post for the blog my jaw dropped. Me? Psshh no, I couldn’t. I barely survived writing class in college so how could I write a post others would actually see? Well, I am writing it so I guess my brain talked me into it! I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem scrambled but just know that what you read comes straight from the heart of this new military wife.

We recently celebrated our first anniversary and it has me reminiscing about the past 18 months. First, we became engaged and I moved to Virginia to be in the same city as Trey, my now-husband. This meant I was planning a wedding from a distance which is a struggle, but even more so for someone who can become obsessed with the details like me. Marrying into the military was a big transition – especially when it comes to timing and making plans.

The best-made plans…

Back to the military and making plans… the joke was on me. In the military, there are plenty of times when the unexpected happens. They even tell you to expect the unexpected! There are more times than I can count where we had something planned and the Navy decided to change their plans and whisk my husband off to sea… AGAIN. Weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, you name it! Now we just plan something super late and rush into it. Like purchasing flights to Hawaii 60 days before take-off. Yes! My “need to be over-organized” stress level is off the charts regarding planning this vacation but what can I do? I am sure the trip will be worth it. 😉

These past 18 months have been tough but it has been SO worth it. We have grown together daily, but more in the past 6 months than ever. We moved to a new city (again), bought a house, I changed jobs (twice), we’re surviving shift work, and are trying to navigate this thing called adulthood. I believe we are handling all of this change in the last six months so well because of the previous twelve months before it. We have learned to roll with the punches as they say!

There’s love in the little things.

Through all the chaos that accompanies the first year of marriage (especially a military wife!), I decided to name a few (or 10) things I learned so here we go! Whether they are big goals or small they ALL have an impact on marriage and how we handle them can make or break a day.

  • 1. Go to church. Go!
  • 2. YOU are your spouse’s biggest cheerleader. Cheer loud!
  • 3. Humans are selfish. But try not to be.
  • 4. Wash the darn dishes. They won’t wash themselves.
  • 5. Waking up at 4:30 in the morning to cook your spouse breakfast is very rewarding. #navylife
  • 6. Learn each other’s love language. The 5 Love Languages book and workbook. And for you military families, there is a 5 Love Languages Military Edition too. #worthit
  • 7. Be kind. Stop. Take a breath. Be kind.
  • 8. Sometimes your husband will choose college football over you. (Go Dawgs). It’s only a season – it’ll pass.
  • 9. Think before you speak. (This is a tough one!)
  • 10. Fold the laundry right away or it will sit in the basket for days. Go ahead and finish the job now.

I still struggle with the items on my list but I am learning. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who is very forgiving. So while the military changes my plans on the spur of the moment I’ll work on the things I can somewhat control… and try not to stress about the others.

Maybe by the end of this next year of marriage, I will have a whole different list to talk about and I’ll be used to expecting the unexpected. Who knows?! And hey, if you are an experienced and successful military wife feel free to reach out to a sister!

Love,