A Time of Quiet Restlessness
Dear “Let’s Get On With It” Me,
Life isn’t always what I build it up to be in my mind. This isn’t what I expected. God, why am I stuck here? What’s the plan, man? Has anyone ever been here beside me? Guess what girlie – it ain’t all about you! I’m so restless though!
It’s not just me. It seems like everyone I encounter is restless in some way. We’re waiting for the remnants of 2020 to go away. Still. Waiting to move on. Restless for another job, another place to live, the next phase, the next thing – whatever that may be. With all we have to be thankful for, still restless.
I don’t think restlessness is all bad. It may not necessarily mean that I’m an ungrateful stooge. God can use it, this restlessness, to motivate me to trust Him in a new way. He uses it to urge me out of my comfort zone and into new territory, physically and spiritually. It only becomes detrimental when the restlessness pushes me ahead of His plan.
So what can I do in the meantime? This is my place and time of quiet restlessness. Quiet and restless at the same time? Yes. I didn’t say I was comfortable, just quiet.
My physical surroundings play a gigantic role in my emotions. I have to get outside – and that’s why I am writing this while sitting in the woods right now. Sometimes I need to get away from the technology, but sometimes I am reminded to put it back in its place in my life and use it for God’s glory. I am the master of technology, not the other way around.
My home environment can fuel restlessness. A messy house makes my mind messy. Why is it that I can’t think straight when there is stuff lying around?! My physical clutter begets clutter of the mental and emotional kind. Clean it up, girlie! If nothing else, I’ll have the satisfaction of an obnoxiously clean house.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
But what about spiritually? How do I manage quiet restlessness as I wait on God to reveal the next step? I’m leaning into the restlessness with gratitude. Thank you, Lord, for giving me the desire to see what you have in store and the desire to go where you lead. If I wasn’t restless, I wouldn’t be ready to follow where He leads now would I? What I do need to do is focus the restlessness on God and not myself. If I’m restless about my job it may not mean that He wants to move me, but more likely He wants to guide me and teach me in the spot where I am. But be grateful, always turning the restlessness into praise as evidence that God is at work.
I’m living in quiet restlessness with trust and expectation. If God is at work and I am grateful for His moving in my life, I also need to trust His plan and wait expectantly. You know darn well that restlessness will cause us to jump the gun and get ahead of where God tells us to be. I have HIGH expectations. I serve a God who knows my heart and grew those desires within me, so let’s get on with it, God! I’d love to be “there”, now. But this is the truth. He has a plan for my good and His glory…but it’s His plan, so I wait.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8
God can use my restlessness, but only when I give it to Him. I’ve decided not to ask Him to stop my restless spirit but to refocus my mind on being thankful for what is coming next and preparing me for it. I still want to move on to the next phase, but only if I’m walking in His footsteps. What good is it otherwise? And for that, I need a time of quiet restlessness to get ready.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and of self control. 2 Timothy 1:7
Hold tight girl,
